intimate

SIMPLE STEPS IN MAKING LOVE TO A WOMAN

One of the commonest questions most men ask is how to make love to a woman, most men are confused because of the complexity of women sexuality, and many turn to friends or even pornography in the quest to learn how to satisfy their wife in bed. Some even make the mistake of comparing their ex to their wife, this has a way of complicating things, even though women has the same body part but the way they respond to sexual moves are different, so it’s very wrong to think Mrs. A will react exactly the way Mrs. B does. But in solving this complicated issue, there is a generalized step on what might interest women in bed, these includes: Get her in the mood: Putting her in the mood doesn’t start few minutes to the action, it has a lot to do with the mood in your marriage. The major reason having a steamy sex life in a bad marriage could be difficult. If you are looking forward to love making in the night, be nice to her during the day. 2. Use foreplay: According to research, about 75-85% of women will not achieve orgasm through mere penile penetration. Getting use to foreplay and understanding the pro and cons will make her scream. 3. Build eye to eye contact: Don’t try to jump straight into action without getting connected, whether you are working your way up or down, be sure to maintain eye contacts. Your five senses must be put to use during the act of love making. 4. Stimulate her vagina (cunninlingus): No clitorial stimulation, no orgasm says a renowned international sex therapist. In fact, penile penetration will only be enjoyed in a position that brushes the clitoris while thrusting. The vagina is one place you must learn to do right. 5. Tease her: tickle, bite gently and say funny things that will make her giggle. 6. Start gently and build up intensity: Slow and steady wins the race in understanding the act of love making for a woman. 7. Make her feel connected: If she cant get connected to you, she will never enjoy it. Women need reasons to make love while men need just a place. THE DON’TS 1. Don’t try too many styles, keep it simple as possible. 2. Do not go to sleep immediately after making love to her. After making love to her, spend time laughing and talking to together, no matter how difficult. 3. Do not enter her until she is very wet. Ensure that you spend extensive amount of time on foreplay and make her wet. 4. Don’t rush 5. Don’t make negative comments about her body. 6. Don’t be selfish 7. Don’t pull/ push her head down 8. Don’t handle the breast like a carpenter, its not a balloon. Has sex taken the backstage in your marriage or you are finding it difficult to spice things up? Schedule appointment with Dr. Tolu,a trained sex therapist, by calling 08035037992 or here: http://instantcounseling.net/service/

SIMPLE STEPS IN MAKING LOVE TO A WOMAN Read More »

HOW TO STOP CHEATING

Funke Akindele officially weds JJC Skillz in London.

HOW TO BE A BETTER LOVER IN BED

1 Comment / Featured / intimate

HOW TO BE A BETTE LOVER IN BED Someone once said that men are from Mars while women are from Pluto. When it comes to sexual satisfaction, getting it right with women could be tiresome for some men who are selfish when it comes to bedmatics. Most of the time arousal comes before desire for women and the opposite is the case for most men, this contradictions can create a huge gap if not well managed and most time might result to the man being termed selfish. However, if you have ever been referred to as a selfish lover by a woman, you know that it hits a little closer to home. Every man wants to be successful – in life, as well as in bed. So if a woman is complaining that you are too selfish during sex, it’s time to take stalk of the situation. Ultimately, being selfish means knowing how to keep your self happy. In the worst case, however, selfishness can mean satisfying yourself at the cost of others’ unhappiness. When it comes to being a selfish lover, more often than not, men get away with a lot. Men’s selfishness in bed is often associated with their inability to control themselves when faced with extremely sexy situations. Most women appreciate the fact that men usually climax easier and sooner than they do. But if you are trying to sustain a long term sexual relationship with a woman, eventually your selfishness will come back to haunt you. So how can you tell if you are a selfish lover, or if your woman is just extremely hard to please? It is important to consider the following questions: 1. When you initiate sex do you aim to please her as much as yourself? 2. Do you have an idea of what exactly she wants and how she wants it? 3. If she is not quite in the mood, do you make an effort during foreplay to excite her? 4. Throughout intercourse, do you focus on achieving your own climax, or do you try to encourage her and share in the excitement together? If you answered no to any or all of these questions, you may be a selfish lover with a potential woman problem on your hands. Yet before you re-evaluate your own selfish ways, you must also gauge how picky or demanding a woman is when it comes to sexual encounters. 1. Does she complain that you made no effort or finished too quickly, even though she achieved orgasm – or at least appeared to do so? 2. Does she make less effort than you in bed and always blame you when the experience is not satisfying in the end? 3. Do you sometimes feel like no matter what you do, she is just not easy to please in bed, or otherwise? Women are generally more high maintenance than men in life and in bed, but if the woman you are with makes it impossible for both of you to enjoy sex together – it might be time for her to change her ways rather than you. That said, there are some small adjustments that you can make which will help you become a less selfish lover. It comes down to three traits that are easy to acquire with just a little practice: appreciation, openness, and energy. Keeping these few points in mind will help you to be a better lover in bed: Appreciation: When it comes to being less selfish in bed, appreciation of your partner is essential. In order to appreciate your partners’ sexuality, you need to feel a certain level of physical attraction to her. If your attraction wanes or you find it difficult to sustain it, it is going to be difficult to appreciate her and make a greater effort during sex. So chose your partners wisely, and when you feel that the spark is missing, make it a point of duty to try to re-ignite it. 2. Attraction: If attraction is not an issue, than appreciation of her sexuality should not be either. However, everyone is different, and sometimes even though you are attracted to a woman, you have an even greater urge to satisfy yourself. If you intend to carry on a long term relationship with her, try to turn the tables and shift your attention towards her sexuality rather than your own. 3. She comes first: Rather than rushing her, If you make the effort to please her every so often – most women would be happy to achieve complete sexual satisfaction once a week – you will likely be able to maintain a healthy and satisfying relationship for an extended period of time. 4. Openness: The next essential trait to develop in order to become a less selfish lover is openness. Chances are, if your woman is calling you selfish in bed and she seems genuinely concerned about it, your lack of attention to her needs will lead to the end of the relationship. But if you are open to discussing your sexual needs, they are more likely to show significant improvement. For example, if your woman complained after the last time you had sex, maybe you should commence the next session by asking her exactly what she wants you to do to her, and demanding that she give you an answer. 5. Communication: If she is interested in improving your sex life together, she will make an effort to communicate rather than just complain about your shortcomings. On your part, it is important to be open to discussion about changing some of your selfish ways, which may be difficult in the start, but pay off huge in the end. 6. Invest your energy: Becoming a less selfish lover involves one final component: energy. You must take time to evaluate how much energy you are willing to expend on improving your ‘moves’. You must also assess whether the energy you put into reforming is a response to her complaints

HOW TO BE A BETTER LOVER IN BED Read More »

101 FUN PLACES TO HAVE SEX BEFORE YOU DIE

1 Comment / Featured / intimate

FUN PLACES YOU’VE HAD SEX BEFORE,SHARE WITH INTIMATE TALK……. 102 FUN PLACES TO HAVE SEX Most couples complain of boring sex and dry sex life. Has your love life stalled? Are you looking to spice up your sex life? What about new positions, situations or places? If you and your partner are looking for something exciting check out this collection of ideas for places to have sex. From romantic and sensual to sexy and sexually liberating, this list of places to have sex has something that will excite you and your If your sex life is getting boring,spice it up with one of this fun places to have sex,you will like the experience and feel refreshed again,some sound foreign but most are definitely practice-able…… You wont mind sharing some of the fun places you’ve had sex before with intimate talk, someone is definitely learning from your experience….INTIMATE TALK…CHECK OUT THESE 101 FUN PLACES AND ALSO SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE. On a porch swing. 2. Inside an unknown rocky cave or limestone cave. 3. In the weight room at your gym. 4. In your not-yet-finished new build house. 5. On the hood of your car on a deserted gravel road. 6. On a pool table. 7. On top of the washer… while it’s running. 8. On a soft rug in front of a fireplace. 9. On a secluded island beach. 10. In the backyard under the stars. 11. In the woods after it rains. 12. On a motorcycle. 13. In a public restroom. 14. In an airplane restroom — join the mile high club! 15. On a train in the middle of the night. 16. In bed with silk or satin sheets. 17. In bed with rose petals all over. 18. On the beach at night. 19. In your lover’s childhood room while their parents are home. 20. Outside in the rain. 21. In a hot tub. 22. On the deck of a yacht during a full moon. 23. Under a rainbow. 24. On a trampoline. 25. On top of a hill. 26. In the middle of nowhere. 27. In the car during heavy traffic. 28. In the car on the side of a deserted road. 29. In a hotel. 30. In a state park. 31. On a waterbed. 32. On the loft in a barn full of hay. 33. In a field full of wildflowers. 34. On a rooftop. 35. In an open field at night. 36. By a waterfall with the water misting all around you. 37. Under a waterfall. 38. In the garage. 39. On a jungle gym at night. 40. Outside during sunset. 41. In the car going through an automated car wash. 42. On your patio, balcony, or deck on a starry night. 43. In the mountains. 44. On an abandoned air field. 45. Under the full moon in wet grass. 46. On a porch swing. 47. In the living room during the day with the windows wide open. 48. On a blanket beside a lake. 49. In an elevator. 50. On the bathroom floor. 51. In your partner’s parents room. 52. In a sauna. 53. In a very big bed. 54. On the top bunk of a bunk bed. 55. In a tent. 56. At your office. 57. On your office desk. 58. On a boat deck with the waves gently rocking you. 59. In a tree house. 60. In a department store restroom. 61. In the restroom at a restaurant. 62. In a hot air balloon. 63. In a room filled with lit candles. 64. In a bathtub. 65. In the shower. 66. In a canoe on a river. 67. On a baseball diamond at night. 68. In a swimming pool. 69. At the bottom of the grand canyon. 70. In a beach house with a light breeze gusting outside. 71. Off a beaten trail in the woods. 72. In every room of your house. 73. On a chair. 74. On an air mattress. 75. On your kitchen table. 76. In a screened in porch in the middle of a thunderstorm. 77. On a hotel balcony, covered with a fuzzy blanket. 78. In a sleeping bag under the stars. 79. On a paddle boat on a lake. 80. In the bed of a truck on a hot summer night. 81. In the ocean… ride the waves. 82. In a room filled with balloons. 83. In front of a video camera. 84. In an abandoned barn on the hay wearing nothing but cowboy boots and a cowboy hat. 85. On an old sheet with chocolate body frosting. 86. On a bed surrounded by pillows. 87. At a bed and breakfast. 88. On an amusement park ride… tunnel of love, in the dark? 89. In the back of a limo. 90. Next to a campfire. 91. On a golf course. 92. In the car at a drive-in movie. 93. On really plush carpet. 94. In your house during a thunderstorm, with a window open and rain misting in. 95. On a picnic table. 96. In a hammock. 97. On horseback. 98. While scuba-diving. 99. On a ferris wheel when you’re stuck at the top. 100. At a rest area. 101. In a corn field.

101 FUN PLACES TO HAVE SEX BEFORE YOU DIE Read More »

THE ORDER OF LOVEMAKING

1 Comment / Featured / intimate

A lot of couples are in a sexually frustrating marriage because they put the wrong thing first. There are orders in which things must be done when it comes to the act of love making. Follow these five orders of lovemaking and find out why your sex life is becoming frustrating. Attraction: A lot of people will never be able to enjoy the act of love making if they are not attracted to their partner. For some, this where the act begins. Men: its is no doubt that men are moved by what they see, a man can be attracted to a low class empty brain lady, with poor hygiene just because of her well rounded boobs or protruding back sides. For men, the appeal mostly comes from conceiving the thought of how it will feel like touching those organs. majority of men are easily carried away by the female physical appearance and that is why its more complicated to be a man in a world full of half naked ladies in lycra tights. Blame it on the hormones, he’s not a loose Jack, he’s just being a man. This is why it takes discipline, total commitment, fear of God and genuine love for a man to stay loyal to his woman. Now, imagine a man who is lucky to have a physically attractive wife with all the juicy organs in the right places, she’s intelligent and smart, that means he could also be attracted to her brain and at the same time he’s head over heels in love with her. To top it all she’s clean in an out, smells good and understands what to wear to tun him on. Love making comes easily for that kind of man, and giving her a head becomes an easy task. Women: Attractions counts for women a lot, and most time its more about emotional connection rather than physical attractions, a clean looking man is just an icing on the cake. That is why trying to arouse a woman who is not emotionally connected to a man is always a daunting task. About 75% of women will not just ook at a man and start getting wet just because he has six packs, attraction for a woman is more complicated than that, unresolved issues between the two must be resolved before a woman can get down without reservations and give her all. Desire: The desire to make love could be triggered by so many reasons, for men is majorly about attraction but for women its more complicated. unresolved issues, physical distractions like a cracking bed, children, or roughly shaven beard will all affect how deep her desire will be. Domestic and financial issues also affects a man sexual desire a whole lot, but most time he can see sex as a mean of cooling off when in such situations but for a woman at such time sex comes last. this is why some women will like to discuss money during the act in order to clear their mind so they can concentrate, even though the unwise or mischievous women negotiates before making love just to use it a s a weapon. She could also be overwhelmed with chores and activities, especially when the husband shows no sign of empathy or appreciation. Insecurity about body or organs can result to low self esteem which could also lead to lack of desire both in men an women. Arousal: There are lots that could be done during the act of love making to get your partner aroused. Mere looking at a woman naked body can give a man an erection like i said before, but for a woman especially when circumcised, you might have to go all the way. Now, this is where I’m actually going, a sexually frustrated marriage is mostly that of couples who ignored point one and two and jump to point three. How do you arouse a woman who is not attracted to you at the same time has no desire for sex. touching, necking, pecking, licking or any act of fore play will be a turn off for a woman who has lost her desire for sex. This is where most men are frustrated, ‘ I touched her and do everything to get her aroused, and still she won’t bulge” she will not, because she has lost the desire. You both need to concentrate on attraction and desire before talking about arousal. Orgasm: Even though a man can ejaculate without attraction, desire and arousal, its going to be a boring exercise and a frustrating one for him. A great sex is one in which a man is able to connect with his wife mind, soul and body, one in which the woman participates, vulnerable and gives her all without reservations, that is what a great sex is for a man, its beyond just ejaculating, its intense, deep, exhausting and satisfying love making. A man whose wife keeps lying like a log of wood or cold ice might start loosing his desire gradually as well. In this case for a woman, this is not just about not having great sex, its about no sex at all. Without attraction and desire forget orgasm for a woman. Sex becomes extra work and orgasm becomes achievable for a woman who has no desire for sex. Reaffirmation: This is the period of relaxing after a great love making exercise, for a man, sleep is the best form of reaffirmation, if she sleeps off immediately then shes exhausted and it automatically means she enjoys it, even though this could be true, the opposite is the case for a woman. She wants a man who will reassure her of how great she was in bed, rub his hands on her hair and kiss her forehead before snoring.

THE ORDER OF LOVEMAKING Read More »

KISSING 101

1 Comment / Featured / intimate

As simple as it sounds, kissing can make or mar your marriage. Most of the big issues couples are struggling with in their marriages started with just a little act of ignorance. When a professional kisser or someone who is good in the act of kissing get married to someone who is an amateur or clueless in the act, you should expect a marriage full of nagging and turbulence, how manage, you said? Let me explain this….. Kissing is one of the few firs steps during the act of lovemaking. To a woman, love making is a gradual process, it’s like trying to push a car up a cliff, any attempt to withdraw during the process means the car sliding back to the foot of the cliff. The same way it is for women, women gradually build up romantic emotions till it reaches the peak call orgasm, any breach or negative action can ruin all the effort and quench all her eagerness within a second. So whenever a couple is trying to build the momentum of intimacy, a bad kisser will always ruin the day, because is going to be a turn off, at the end of the day, the woman might end up pretending, and having sex just for the sake of the husband even when she’s boiling inside. So, you can be sure that a woman who knows her onions in the act of kissing might never enjoy sex with a bad kisser, and because a sexually frustrated woman can never make a happy marriage, having a marriage full of turbulence like I earlier mentioned becomes inevitable. Even though, most immature men who haven’t learnt the act and beauty of taking it slow and steady during lovemaking want things to happen fast, to them and the matured ones, a bad kisser is also a turn off and a minus to the level of expected ecstasy. Kissing is a delicate way to show deep expression of love, it’s a sign of vulnerability, a very important ingredient of a stable relationship and marriage, kissing is a sign of saying I give you my all, I have nothing else to hide, I’m not holding anything back. Apart from the fact that it shows deep affection, its one romantic act that can be expressed intimately and openly at the same time. It is no doubt that kissing has taken the back stage in many homes especially in some part of the world where cultural, moral and religious views are ignorantly taken to the extreme. It’s a common notion that African men are particularly and naturally unromantic except he’s being compelled to, but it’s also a known fact that when he wants to be romantic, he’s good at it, and does his job very well. Another critical point is the ignorant nature of most women, not knowing what she want, clueless of how to express herself or ask for what she want, even when she knows it and the fear of being labeled “loose” is another reason for holding back the beautiful, nature behind the act of kissing. A research shows that it is possible for men to ejaculate through kissing, women can also achieve orgasm through the act of kissing, the enzymes released during this act can also help to promote bonding between couples, kissing is a simple act that could help to bring back the spark in your marriage within minutes. Whether the last time you kissed was when the pastor said you may kiss the bride on your wedding day, or you left the romantic act of kissing at the hotel where you had your honeymoon, it is never too late to start allover again. Understanding of the fact that you are missing so much by not kissing and making effort to rekindle the loss passion for kissing will help your marriage. Having understood how important kissing is, it will be necessary to join our workshop on kissing. It doesn’t matter whether you or/and your spouse are bad kissers, or you don’t even understand the tricks and styles of being a good kisser, whether you have never kissed before does not matter and your level of ignorance is immaterial, by the end of this workshop, you can say good bye to a boring sex life, and dry kissing skills and start kissing like a pro! (To register for the kissing workshop, visit: www.instituteofcounselingng.org)

KISSING 101 Read More »

ARE YOU INTIMIDATING?

IS IT A SIN TO SUCK MY WIFE?

6 Comments / Featured / intimate

Dr. Tolu, this is the 3rd time i’m posting this question, please help me to post now. I want to suck my wife but she said no insisting its against God’s will. I want to know if its a sin to suck ones wife, Is it ok to suck each other in a christian home. I noticed that many christian people who are married do suck each other. I used to do it too and i think my wife will like it if she experienced it, how do i convince her, or should i just forget about it if its a sin?

IS IT A SIN TO SUCK MY WIFE? Read More »

TIWA/TUNJI SAGA, WHAT LESSON?

3 Comments / Featured / intimate

As much as i tried to avoid discussing other people’s business, i actually think we can learn one or two lessons from the Tiwa/Tunji story. Im sure most of us have read the story online and also listened to Tiwa’s video interview. Do you think she married for the wrong reasons, probably out of pity because she felt she owed Tunji one? Or you think they were truly compatible? What is your opinion about couples having a joint business? The questions can go on and on, but what do you think about this whole saga, are there lessons to be learnt?

TIWA/TUNJI SAGA, WHAT LESSON? Read More »

SIMPLE STEPS IN MAKING LOVE TO A WOMAN

HOW TO STOP CHEATING

Funke Akindele officially weds JJC Skillz in London.

HOW TO BE A BETTER LOVER IN BED

101 FUN PLACES TO HAVE SEX BEFORE YOU DIE

THE ORDER OF LOVEMAKING

KISSING 101

ARE YOU INTIMIDATING?

IS IT A SIN TO SUCK MY WIFE?

TIWA/TUNJI SAGA, WHAT LESSON?

About Us

About Intimacy Clinic

About Dr Tolu

Upcoming Events

Shop Tolu

Podcasts

Blog

Quick Links

Couples Counseling

Premarital Counseling

Divorce Counseling

Expatriate Relocation Counseling

Infidelity Counseling

Mental Health Counseling

Quick Links

Sex Therapy

Somatic Sex Therapy

Immigration Support

Bridal Shower Gig

Vow Renewal Counseling

Our Foundation

Contact Info