intimate

MAN NABBED AT THE POINT OF RAPING A SIX YEARS OLD

Rasheed Adedeji Fatuga shared on his Instagram page the story of a man who attempted to rape a 6 years old today. According to him, the man in question has moved away from the area, but came visiting his former neighbors, he was welcomed and entertained. As the neighbors were distracted, he lured one of their daughters to an uncompleted building around the area. He was seen and caught by a passerby as he was about to rape the six years old girl in the uncompleted building around Kasoleri area, close to Agbala Itura, Ikorodu. With the current rate of evil in the society, one cannot be too careful in protecting the children.

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PRESIDENT BUHARI’S OFFICIAL PHOTOGRAPHER BECOMES A FATHER OF TWIN

President Buhari’s official Photographer, Bayo Omoboriowo, becomes a father of Twins _ Lola Omitokun Omoboriowo, wife of Buhari’s photographer Bayo, recently gave birth to twins, LimeliteTV gathered. – Lola Omoboriowo nee Omitokun, daughter of a retired Naval officer, and the twins are all healthy, happy and doing fine, according to close family sources. _ The relative did not say where the twins were born but the couple appear to have been spending much of their time together, especially with president Buhari away in England. _ Bayo Omoboriowo, was included in the governor’s delegation that visited ailing president Buhari in London recently. We learnt that the couple adopted a low profile during the pregnancy, keeping the news private for months before and after the arrival of the twins. _ Mrs Omoboriowo is related to nobility as her mother Sis Tokunbo is from the Owo Royal family in Ondo state, the Olagbegi’s, Limelite also gathered. _ The Olagbegi family is a royal family in Owo, Ondo State. Members of the family are descendants of Olagbegi Atanneye I, the Olowo of Owo who reigned between 1913 and 1938. – Via @limelitenaija

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WAKE UP AND LIVE YOUR DREAM!

Ive always known i have passion for helping people. When i was in the university, my friends are always waiting for me to help settle their disagreements, Tolu is always like a peacemaker, who will help friends and couples to sort their differences. Unfortunately i didn’t realise the ability i have on time, instead of concentrating on developing my gift and calling, i was busy chasing shadows. I have done virtually any type of business you can think of, from boutique to saloon, spa, consulting, importation, name it…. Some, i was making money, and some wasn’t just working. While all these were going on, i knew there was something on the inside of me that needed to be developed, something my world is waiting for, something special that will affect humanity positively at the same time make me fulfilled. I discovered my path through a tragedy, my then office was demolished as a result of road construction. Kento place was a unique and popular place on stadium road, Port Harcourt, one of the most beautiful office on that axis then, unfortunately i lost it and have to retire home with nothing. It was a this period i returned to God for direction, ‘what exactly will you have me do, my father’, i cried unto Him and He gave me the name INTIMATE TALK WITH TOLU. I started doing research on my calling, i prayed, read books, research online, and doors of favors were opening, within 6 months i was on radio and TV in Port Harcourt, in two years INTIMATE TALK WITH TOLU became a household name, i couldn’t walk in the street of Port Harcourt without people screaming my name, people run to me telling me how i saved there marriages. Mails, calls and text messages of appreciation were coming in from all part of Nigeria and Africa, because by then the show was already on Nollywwod channel. At this point, i wasn’t making money, but i was making impact, i was changing lives, building dreams, mending homes and building relationships, I was fulfilled. Then, i decided to take this a step further by getting certified, ALAS! nowhere to get certification as a marriage counselor in Nigeria. The only solution is for me to go back to the university, but as at then, i was already a master degree holder in economics and i was also training a group of guidance and counseling/counseling psychology undergraduates, because most time, they learn theories, and applying the knowledge to real life scenario seems impossible for them, that, i was doing effortlessly. This brings me to our educational system, we need to be more flexible, instead of applying rigid training of theories that cant be applied to real life situation, we need to concentrate on developing the inner ability of the students, spending donkey years in school without practical ability is nothing. I said to myself, i cant call myself a professional counselor without a proper certification, and for 6 moths, i was searching through google. I didn’t make any headway until i have an opportunity to travel out of the country for counseling training. When i came back, i made up my mind to fill this vacuum in the filed of clinical counseling. This article is actually not about my life, but a wake up call for someone who is reading this, someone who has passion for helping people, the passion is burning in you and you know you cant continue to fold your arms. Some of you are already helping the children, youth, teenagers or couples in your local church or mosque. You know you need to do more, you know you need to take this a step further, in fact you know you can create a career fro yourself and make a living out of this. Your world is waiting for you to evolve, the society needs you, we need counselors in Nigeria, we need therapists, we need teen counselors to assist the teenagers, we need child therapist to speak the language the children understand, we need marriage counselors, grief and bereavement counselors etc. You know you have the gift, calling and passion for this and you wan to take it a step further, this is the appointed time, stop delaying, WAKE UP! because when you get to heaven, God will ask you how far you went with the gifts he has deposited in you, the beautiful thing is, you can fulfill your dreams and at the same time make a living out of it. The journey is easier now, in one, six or 12 months, you can get a certificate or diploma in any of your chosen counseling field. Your journey no longer have to be long and tough like mine, register now at the first ever counseling institute in Africa. I will also be here to support, guide and supervise you till you achieve your dream. click here to register: www.instituteofcounselingng.org or call the admin on: +2349094812983. My Name is Tolulope Oko-Igaire, The Principal of The Institute of counseling in Nigeria ICN. I’m living my dreams, and now is the time to live yours!

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SCIENCE AND KISSING 2

So what is the purpose of kissing? Imagine a kiss being like a job interview for the elusive role of being someone’s significant other. The interviewer is looking for the candidate who best matches the job description. Similarly, when we kiss, we are looking for a mate that best matches our genetic make-up. ‘Wait, what do genes have to do with kissing?!’ – I hear you scream. Well, we actually have a group of genes called the MHC (major histocompatibility complex) genes that form part of our immune system and give us our natural scent. In a famous experiment, women overwhelmingly preferred the smell of t-shirts worn by men with different MHC genes from their own. This is because when two people with different MHC genes mate, the baby they would produce would have a selection of components from each of their immune systems. A more diverse immune system has a greater ability to fight disease. Therefore, opposites really do attract. This explains why we prefer kissing one person over another. It’s in our genes. What happens in our brains when we kiss? The brain goes into overdrive during the all-important kiss. It dedicates a disproportionate amount of space to the sensation of the lips in comparison to much larger body parts. During a kiss, this lip sensitivity causes our brain to create a chemical cocktail that can give us a natural high. This cocktail is made up of three chemicals, all designed to make us feel good and crave more: dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. Like any cocktail, this one has an array of side-effects. The combination of these three chemicals work by lighting up the ‘pleasure centers’ in our brain. The dopamine released during a kiss can stimulate the same area of the brain activated by heroin and cocaine. As a result, we experience feelings of euphoria and addictive behavior. Oxytocin, otherwise known as the ‘love hormone’, fosters feelings of affection and attachment. This is the same hormone that is released during childbirth and breastfeeding. Finally, the levels of serotonin present in the brain whilst kissing look a lot like those of someone with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. No wonder the memory of a good kiss can stay with us for years. Is there a difference in Platonic and non-Platonic kisses? Anyone who has ever given their best friend a quick kiss on the cheek will know it feels very different to the rush of sensations experienced when you make out with the smouldering hottie you’ve been chatting up all night. Non-romantic kissing is very common, but it is much more of a cultural phenomenon than the romantic kiss. Children blow kisses to their parents, some Europeans air-kiss as a greeting, and we kiss friends to say farewell. The closeness inherent in these kisses can create feelings of affection or respect, but not the feelings of euphoria that usually follow a romantic kiss. Platonic kisses are usually brief pecks on the cheek. In contrast, romantic kisses involve intimate, lengthy lip-to-lip contact. Since it is this lip contact that activates the chemical cocktail in the brain, a Platonic kiss just can’t compete. Like many human behaviors, kissing is fascinating and complex. We have a lot left to learn about kissing, so get out there and research in the name of science with one partner preferably. Emer Maguire

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SCIENCE AND KISSING

Why do we kiss? Kissing is wonderful – so wonderful that most of us can recall 90 per cent of the details of our first kiss. Human beings have been preoccupied with kissing for years. It features as the climax of all great Hollywood love stories, and is celebrated by singers and poets alike. In reality, kissing is nothing more than two people putting their faces together and exchanging spit. How on earth did something so gross become so appealing? The act of kissing has developed to become advantageous to humans: if it didn’t serve an evolutionary purpose, we simply would not do it. So what’s in a kiss? More than you might think. Nature versus nurture A kiss might seem like a natural thing to do for most of us, but the scientific jury is still out on whether it is a learned or instinctual behavior. Approximately 90 per cent of cultures kiss, making a strong case for the act being a basic human instinct. I know what you’re thinking…what about the other ten per cent? If kissing was a natural behavior, surely all cultures would do it? While this small minority doesn’t ‘kiss’ like the rest of us (due to superstitions and cultural beliefs), they may still engage in kissing-like behaviors, such as rubbing noses together. If kissing is a natural instinct, why don’t animals kiss? Many animals actually do engage in kissing-like behaviors to show affection. These behaviors are so diverse, from dogs sniffing and licking potential mates, to elephants putting their trunks in each other’s mouths. However, one animal kisses just like we do: the bonobo ape. This isn’t too surprising, considering we share 98.7 per cent of our DNA with this hairy cousin. Bonobos kiss for comfort and to socialize. Sometimes after a fight they even kiss and make up. We humans kiss for the exact same reasons, indicating that kissing might be ingrained deep in our DNA. How did the kiss evolve? Many scientists believe that kissing came from the practice of kiss-feeding, where mothers would feed their young mouth-to-mouth. Imagine birds feeding worms to their little chicks. Cute, right? Now imagine someone feeding you your chewed-up breakfast via their mouth. This sounds disgusting to most people, but we humans used to do it all the time! From this passing of food, pressing lips became synonymous with love. Understandable, since the way to most people’s hearts are through their stomachs. Over time, this symbol of affection may have evolved to give us romantic kissing. To be continued…

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True Love Stories…

After 35 years of marriage with four children and four grandchildren, former secondary school teacher, Mr Kolawole and his wife, got their dream destination pre-wedding photo session in Canada courtesy of their photographer son, Jide Kola. Oh what a joy of shared values and dreams. Years down the line, you can look back and be proud of the decision you took with that individual. hat could be more beautiful and perfect like a love story you wrote for and by yourself. Its not enough to know what you want or require out of life or marriage, what counts is what and how you do it. and most importantly, who you choose as your teammate….   To this couple, who would have enough experiences to fill a book, you are celebrated. love stories like yours is what the world should revolve around…..

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WHAT DO YOU WANT?

So many people have a very long list about what their ideal man should look like and I am not an exception. Before I met my Ideal man, i already had it clear in my mind that I wanted the ‘PERFECT’ man and at the same time, he was going to be the first and only man in my life. It was a difficult task and none of my friends believed I would accomplish it. They would advise me to have fun, go out, find a boyfriend, meet new people and have many experiences with guys so that, one day, I could finally commit to someone. But I had already made up my mind about it and I had never been so focused about an issue in my life.  When I was a teenager, I had this list of what my ideal man should be: handsome, well-off, caring, understanding, God-fearing, intelligent – I could have gone on and on then about what qualities my ideal man should have. However, as I grew older, I realized that I could never really find a real person who met all these sterling qualities. Something’s like relationships and marriage just needed to be taken out of the teenage thinking box. I have had just 3boyfriends and trust me I could tell what an ideal man is all about, at least with this few experiences of mine. All these three guys were nothing close to what I had in mind as an ideal man. They were cheats, liars and also perverts. Yes I know not all men are liars and cheats but trust me this three guys were top the list I met Femi. I can say Femi is my ideal man and it had nothing to do with the list I created. Like I said nobody is perfect, finding an individual who ticks all your boxes should actually feel suspicious. But, who knows?  Femi didnt tick everything on my list but there were something’s I noticed he had that I didn’t see in any other guy. Some values and character traits he exhibited that I had not taken cognizance of before now. These were character traits that challenged me to become better than I was and suddenly matured my way of thinking. These characters include: Character Maturity Intelligence Compatibility Fear Of GOD. So ladies, If you are ‘chilling’ (ladies do not find, we chill and let love find us) for that ideal man, here goes my list of 5 crucial qualities but not limited to, that an ideal man should possess. Trust me even without telling you, it is something you already should be looking out for. Also if you are a guy seeking to become an ideal man: work on the following trait. They are; 1. Character – This is the main attribute in making another person happy. If a man’s character lacks truth, honesty and sincerity, then he lacks everything a relationship requires in order to survive. Beware! 2. Maturity – Immature men like showing off: they are afraid of commitment, they are insecure about their future and they are naive. There’s nothing worse for a woman having to submit to an insecure man. A woman needs a strong and mature man by her side, one that knows where he’s going in life, that is brave enough to solve problems with his own hands and that will be able to care for her like any good and responsible man should. 3. Intelligence – intelligent men think before acting or saying anything. This makes them capable of thinking about the consequences- giving women that extra admiration, respect and assurance for them. With so many women throwing themselves at married men out there, this is by far, a crucial quality to ensure faithfulness. 4. Compatibility – This is the quality that allows a man and women to fit well with each other like puzzle pieces. 5. Fear of God – The man that fears God will never betray his woman, especially when she’s not around. Dear Ladies, seek men that make a deliberate effort to add positive things in your life. The relationships we get into shouldn’t drag us below but help us become better. However, attracting and accepting an ideal man lies on you becoming an IDEAL WOMAN.

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MARRIAGE IS HARD

Recently, my parents celebrated their 40th anniversary. As we were celebrating, I leaned over and asked my father what he felt about being married for 40 years. He looked at me and said, “It’s pretty depressing knowing that you have been married longer than you have been single!” He smiled, laughed and then quoted, “Never take it too seriously. Remember to have joy in the journey. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.” I have noticed a lot of things that people say or write about marriage. For example, there are, “The Top 3 reasons to Help Strengthen Your Marriage” or “5 things I wish I’d Known Before I Got Married. As I read these articles, I felt a little depressed because of how they started out. Almost every article started out like this: “Well, the first two years of our marriage was really really hard and I almost felt like leaving or getting a divorce but I’m glad I didn’t.” They would say after the first years of marriage things became a lot better. So my question is: Why was it so hard for the first years of marriage? Here’s why I believe people think marriage is so hard. THE EASY WAY OF LIFE The number one reason is we all like the easy route in life. I mean, if there’s an easy way, and it’s not dangerous, we’d be dumb not to take it, right? We get so used to finding that easy way because we live in a world where information is at our fingertips and things come instantly. A true marriage bond is something that cannot happen with a snap of fingers. Of course, you can get married on a whim in Las Vegas. You might have a paper that certifies your marriage, just like any other ceremony out there. But to reach a true marriage bond, true love takes time. That’s why I love to see a couple who has been married for more than 40 years and still love each other. NO TWO PEOPLE ARE ALIKE Reason number two is because when two people come from totally different backgrounds, have different personalities and try to make things work you’re going to have issues. You’re going to have obstacles but that’s what this life is all about. It’s not about instant gratification. It’s not about getting things easily. SPORTS AND MARRIAGE I think back when I was first learning how to play hockey. I would consider myself a fair athlete. I had some natural ability to play sports–football, soccer, basketball, and baseball came easily. Now, I was no superstar but I could play those sports and, without much effort, become an average player. But when I wanted to play hockey, it took a lot of effort and hard work on my part to learn how to play. I felt hockey was one of the hardest sports out there. I not only had to learn how to skate and how to handle a small puck with a stick. I also had to avoid huge monsters that were coming to knock the crap out of me. But I fell in love with the sport. I absolutely loved it! There was nothing I thought of more. I can honestly say  learning how to play hockey was really really hard but I wouldn’t change those times learning how to skate and how to shoot. I never had so much fun trying to learn how to play.  If I would have just been born great and never really had to work at playing then I probably wouldn’t have the love for hockey that I do now. Every time I go skating, the flood of emotions fills me as I remember all the memories from those days. CHICK FLICK FILMS I would never trade that hard work and to me that’s what marriage is–you have to learn how to work hard for it because it will not come easy. If you think it will come easy then you’ve been watching too many Hollywood chick flick films about how two people magically begin to love one another and they have a fairy tale ending. One of my biggest peeves against chick flicks is when you watch, one of the main characters has to change and they change overnight and the couple will live in marital bliss the rest of their lives. It’s never that easy and I don’t think it’ll ever be that easy because if it was, no one would ever appreciate what they really have. Yes, marriage is hard but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. What in this world is ever easy and if it is, people take it for granted. It’s those who work hard for the values they hold close who understand it is the joy in the journey. It is finding the joy through the hard work that you’re doing. HARD WORK PAYS OFF ,NOW AND AFTER. Hockey was hard at first but when I started to learn and was able to get a little bit better, it became fun and exciting and I got good. To me, marriage is the same way once you work at it day by day, little by little. If you work hard at it, then something happens and you start to change. You will start wanting to put your spouse’s and your children’s needs above your own to feel that pure joy. In this life, it’s all about serving other people. It’s all about feeling that true love for someone other than yourself. People think when they hear “it’s hard” they automatically think that it isn’t fun or there is no joy in “it’s hard”. Those who think that are the ones that have never truly lived. They have never really learned what it feels like to work hard for something that you love.     CULLED FROM MARRIAGE FAMILY STRONG

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MERCY AIGBE WAS JUST WRONG

This is just pitiful and sad. The things that individuals endure in order to keep the society happy is beyond our imagination. I sincerely believe that if things go this way, the institution of marriage will be totally destroyed. Mercy Aigbe states categorically that she stayed in an abusive relationship because SHE WANTS TO STAY MARRIED. What then do we say to a society that makes you and yet destroys you? Why would you stay faithful to people who do not even think about you beyond the comments they post online? When would celebrities learn that you do not live your life for us? Ladies and gentlemen, the society feeds on information, information which will always be available because you provide it. Dear celebrities, please, do not live your life for us, live it for yourself!!   I am trying so hard to work up some sympathy for this case, but really, enough of celebrities enduring trash for OUR SAKE.  

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MAIDEN NAME vs MARRIED NAME

Ever heard of a woman vs. wife vs. mom identity crisis? I curse these maiden name vs. married name dilemmas. Who am I? At this point in my life, I do feel like I know who I am. But, ask me to put it on paper and, well, I start feeling weird. Disrespectful. Wrong too. When I got married, I made a snap decision to keep my maiden name and now as a mom I feel like I made a huge mistake. Back when I got hitched, keeping my maiden name seemed like an empowering thing to do. Yeah! I’m modern! Fabulous! I didn’t change it because parting with it was inexplicably very scary for me at the time (no, it had nothing to do with having any doubts about who I was getting married to, that I was sure of). I just (selfishly?) liked the way my name sounded. (Always have. Vanity alert.) I’d also just gotten a big new job literally a week before my wedding and I happened to (vainly) like the way my named looked across the bottom of the TV screen (I was working as a TV host and reporter). My name doesn’t match the people that are most important to me, which makes me sad, guilty, confused and scared. I also (again, vainly) liked the way I felt when I heard me say my own name while working: “Jill Simonian here, ” With every shallow, on-air reporting tag I’d say, all the hard work I’d managed to pull off and the person I eventually became flashed through my mind. Looking back, I irrationally tied my maiden name so tightly to who I was. I linked my maiden name to all the life experiences that all young women cope with: heartbreaks, good plans gone wrong, triumphs, disappointments and also the strength I was required to develop to overcome those things life throws all of us. (I think most of us have these same feelings as women? Or maybe I’m just nuts.) Giving up my name felt like I’d be giving up the inner strength I’d toiled for years and years to earn. Giving up my name meant that I’d be snapped back to a place of not knowing who I was and what I stood for. And that scared me. My husband was indifferent about the whole name change and hyphenating was a no-go (thanks to the ridiculous length of letters should I put both our names together in a row). So that was that. Decision made. I’d stay Jill Simonian. But now, hearing my 4-year-old say that her last name is my maiden name (because she hears me say it to others) makes me wince. I cringe inside when someone addresses me as Ms. Simonian when I’m out with my husband. I feel disconnected to my husband, to my kids and to most parents at our preschool when they see my maiden name pop up on emails and don’t know which name to address me by. (For the record, I answer to both my kids’ names and my name and have started signing my husband’s and kids’ last name on all school-related paperwork to make things simple). And let’s not even talk about what my parents have said about this. Reality has hit me after one wedding and two babies in the last five years: My name doesn’t match the people that are most important to me, which makes me sad, guilty, confused and scared. All the feelings I was trying to avoid in the first place. Huh. I blame my kids for this. So why have I not changed my last name given all these conflicting feelings? Because, after much soul-searching (and Internet searching for what doing it now actually entails) this mom still feels like that young girl who fought, toiled, did, tried, cried and overcame. One day, when they’re older, I’ll tell my little girls all about that young woman and how selfish, stupid choices in life must be lived with—but also how they (sometimes) work out. What are your thoughts on this? Did you keep your maiden name, why or why not?

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