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THE PROS AND CONS OF SHOWER SEX

In Nigeria, there is no statistics of how many people get married out of love, thus majority of people get married for the wrong reasons which leads to unhappiness. In this part of the world, couples fail to understand that love is a gift; hence they don’t include it on their scale of preference while preparing to go into a relationship. We tend to get carried away with other things forgetting that romance is the CORE in a relationship. Topics like this when discussed helps couples get back to spicing things up in their relationship. Therefore, shower sex is one of the ways to spice things up in your relationship, and here are some things you can do in preparation for shower sex; Prepare your bathroom for it. Introducing shower sex in your relationship can be tricky, so you have to deliberately install some things in your bathroom, such as foot mat, handles to hold, and other materials to help you achieve your aim. You also need to take out or uninstall anything that can harm you or your partner, because sometimes shower sex can be spontaneous. Use water based lubricant. Water would get your partner dry, therefore using a lubricant while having sex in the shower is advisable. Remove all obstructions. Shower curtains, shampoos, buckets, etc should be removed to avoid distractions. Stay out of the bath during foreplay. Set the mood in your bathroom. Dim the light, install colored lights, have a bedside lamp, put on soft music, etc to put you and your partner in the mood. Undress each other. Sometimes undressing each other in the bathroom while fore playing puts you in the mood for sex. Couples should learn how to do this more often. Kiss. Kissing while the shower is running gives a spark and a rejuvenating feeling. Make use of your mirror. Look at your partner lustfully in the mirror while having sex in the shower, it kind of give a boost. Know when to stop. When it gets awkward and uncomfortable, you can extend the sex somewhere else. There should be no boundaries. There are certain styles you can use in the bathroom, which are; Inside out. One person stays under the shower while the other outside the shower to ensure balance. One leg up. The man raises one of the woman’s legs up, rather than placing it on the floor or on the edge of the bath tub. Standing doggy. This position allows for great stimulation as your man would be able to touch your boobs, spank you ass and can have access to every part of your body. Reverse cow girl. Here both couple is facing the same direction while the woman sits on top. Leg wrapping. This is mostly for strong men and light women because the man needs to balance well while lifting the woman off the ground and wrapping her legs around his waist. Trying new things out in a relationship, helps spice things up and ensures a healthy relationship.

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LOSS OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION IN MARRIAGE

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I want to help you fix some of the sexual issues you might be facing in your marriage. Cheating has become the order of the day and you will ask yourself why this is happening, amazingly, women are beating the men to it in today’s world. Read this carefully “We made love virtually everywhere when we first got married; in the car, couch, at the beach, in the bathroom, in fact, we had an unforgettable sexual escapade at the cinemas, we were sitted at the last row and I pulled up my skirt and sat on him and we had a quickie. I’m always horny and he is ever ready, at a point I did not have to put on underwear whenever we were together because in our heads we can make love at anytime and anywhere. I look back now and I wonder when those times will come back again.” This was someone speaking to me and I wrote it down. Most of the times, if you are following me you know I pick topics based on issues that are brought to my office so that if you are going through this problem in your life, you can have them solved. This couple was so into each other that they had to have sex in the cinema (that’s some wild move) and then all of a sudden they lost that spark. This same woman will climb her husband, walk around naked, caress him, nothing worked for him; no erection, but this same man goes out there and meets another woman and boom he gets an erection even without the lady saying anything. This is a very common issue I have noticed over time especially with people in long term committed relationship. If you are in this kind of relationship, the possibility that you’ve noticed this once or twice is very high. The story you just read might look pathetic but this is the case of most marriages. This is just not about men, it might be the other way round but in this part of the world, women are rather more silent. As a woman, you might look at your husband and feel irritated and certainly not aroused but when you go out there and meet some other men, in no time you feel aroused, what we say as ‘being wet’. I have had a couple of women come to me saying ‘Dr. Tolu, I don’t know what is wrong with me , immediately I saw him I became wet and all I wanted was for him to make love to me.’ Loss of Sexual attraction should not be mixed up with Sexual dysfunction like frigidity or erectile dysfunction etc. Unfortunately, they are interwoven but they are entirely different because we can not say a man that doesn’t feel an erection with his wife but feels erection with somebody else has erectile dysfunction or a woman that is not aroused by her husband but gets wet by merely hugging some other guy is frigid. Another complicated part of loss of sexual attraction is that it has nothing to do with love. You can be in love with a person and not be sexually attracted to that person. You might even wish to have sex with him/her but you find that it is not working, you are not attracted. So, what is going on? What happens? Because this is your wife/husband and at the initial stage, you will see her/him and feel erection/aroused but now you even see her/him naked and you are not moved. Some people say, oh, it’s because men are polygamous in nature but the question we will ask is, are women polygamous in nature too? But this happens to women too. What is then the problem? I will always tell people that Love could be blind but marriage is an eye-opener because responsibilities would come up and this is when you know if your marriage can stand the test of time. CAUSES OF LOSS OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION IN MARRIAGE 1. Loss of the hunting nature in men Men want to hunt. They want to look for their prey and capture it. It feels their Ego. Men can fantasize about sex a lot; he would strategize about the right way to get his prey. It gives him fulfillment and joy. At the end of the day if he is able to capture that which he is looking for and it becomes his own and keeps it in his home. With the sex, a man knowing that he could get sex whenever he wants could affect the sexual attraction in the home. This nature is affected when there is nothing to look out for anymore. When your boobs and vagina are easily available, the man looses his hunting spirit. It reduces the desire. For so many women, you just walk around naked, he sees everything each time, your man will have nothing to look out for and he looses his desire to have sex with you. Your breast is not something that should be everywhere; your breast should not be easily accessible. Let your private be private, it shouldn’t be public. In this article, I will like to help you fix some of the sexual issues you might be facing in your marriage. Things have gotten so bad in today’s marriage that cheating has become the order of the day and one can only keep asking why this is happening. Cheating used to be a man thing, amazingly, women are beating the men to it in today’s world. Read this carefully “We made love virtually everywhere when we first got married; in the car, couch, at the beach, in the bathroom, in fact, we had an unforgettable sexual escapade at the cinemas, we were sitting at the last row and I pulled up my skirt and sat on him and we had a quickie. I’m always horny and he is ever ready, at a point I did

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HOW TO KNOW IF HE/SHE CARES ABOUT YOU

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How do I know if my spouse cares about me? People tend to walk into my office asking questions like ‘Dr. Tolu how do I know if my partner loves me?’ or perhaps you are one that likes to keep your money away from your partner especially from men to women saying you will like to test her and be sure she doesn’t love you because of money. All these and many more do not guarantee someone’s love for you. The first thing I tell people is that for you to even ask that question in the first place, it is a red flag; for you to be bothered, unsure or confused, you have already gotten your answer. The answer is “NO”. If someone loves you, you would not need to ask and for women that mostly ask me, I tell them that for men that are in love it is even more intense because they find it hard to hide their feelings unlike women even though they are more emotional. If someone loves you and you love someone, you will find peace; you won’t be worried or restless. For instance, you are asked “Jane, what are you doing with kingsley” your answer will always move towards positivity if you love him and you know that he loves you unlike your answer coming off like “Errrrm…., I’m not so sure what I’m doing with him”. When you love someone and vice versa, you will feel loved, cared for and at peace, he/she wants to know that you are fine, you will feel safe, whatever makes you unhappy becomes their problem also. Finally, I am sure you know the signs, you are aware when somebody doesn’t love you, you know when this person treats you like garbage, you know when this person makes you feel worthless. I understand love sometimes can make you feel helpless but it never takes away the ability for you to be logical, for you to speak to yourself, for you to boldly say to yourself that you deserve better. Nobody deserves to be treated lesser than a human. Putting love aside, even outside a relationship, if you allow yourself to be treated lesser, it says a lot about your Self Esteem, it says a lot about your self worth also, about you feeling like you don’t deserve better. No one is going to see you better than you see yourself. So you will ask me “Dr. Tolu how do I know if this person loves me?” and this is what I’ll tell you, a lot of times you know when some one cares about, you will see the signs. The only question you need to ask yourself is ‘Who am I and what do I deserve?”.

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BENEFITS OF KISSING

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INTRODUCTION According to Wikipedia, A French kiss, also known as a deep kiss, is an amorous kiss in which the participants’ tongues extend to touch each other’s lips or tongue. A “kiss with the tongue” stimulates the partner’s lips, tongue and mouth, which are sensitive to the touch and induce physiological sexual arousal. A French kiss is so called because at the beginning of the 20th century, in the English-speaking world, the French had acquired a reputation for more adventurous and passionate sex practices. When you want to stop French kissing your partner, the easiest thing to do is just pull away from them and stop, but that can be a little abrupt. You may find it nicer to stop using your tongue and go back to the start by squeezing his upper or lower lip between yours before you pull away. Kissing is a way of expressing love and also an act of foreplay. A bad kisser can make one loose total interest in the act of love making. But most time a bad kisser doesn’t know and partners find it difficult to complain. Learn the act of kissing today or ask your partner if you are doing it right,it’s important more than you can imagine. The last time some couples kissed was during their honey moon, kissing is like love making, he can make a woman get wet easily and put a man in d mood, infect it can keep you in the mind of your partner for a long time. Kissing bring a kind of bonding, that is why most people doesn’t like to kiss so easily. Some of us do not even know that kissing is in the Bible, God endorsed it, songs of Solomon 1:2′ 4:11 Talk about the power of touch and the power of Oxytocin the love hormone. There’s pecking, kissing and a more intimate kissing, this is what is expected between couples? You’ve kissed, but you want to take it a step further. A french kiss is a more intimate and passionate kiss that takes things to the next level. With these 10 Steps, you’re french kiss will be perfect. BENEFITS OF KISSING Means of expression: Often times, a kiss is deemed a perfect gesture when no amount of words could express one’s feelings. Kisses on specific body parts have different specific meanings. Moreover, expressing oneself can also be interpreted through different kissing styles. A kiss may also be an act of respect rather than endearment: For almost all married couples and people who are in relationships, kissing is something sensual similar to an act of foreplay. Moreover, it also gives a relationship that special spark. Whether it’s planted on the forehead, cheek, hand or any other body part, it’s always a way of telling someone that the person feels affection towards the other. Its beneficial to your health: Aside from the message that you want to convey in every passionate kiss, medical professionals have also pointed out that kissing can be beneficial to our health. A kiss can help give us a strong heart, while also helping to smooth our skin. In addition, kissing can also help us in relieving pain and avoiding infections. It is a great way to loosen up your muscles and relieve stress after a hard day’s work. It certainly has soothing effects to both the kisser and the one being kissed. A kiss can spice up relationships: Despite the lack of words. It can even help you to maintain a healthy body. Certainly, kissing is one of the most powerful gestures ever known to man, or woman. It can boost self esteem: Passionately kissing the love of your life can boost your self-esteem, lower stress hormones and give you inner peace. Kissing produces an increase in the body’s production of a calming hormone called oxytocin. It helps the body to burn calories. – Frequent kissers can now bid goodbye to food cutback and say hello to a kissing diet. Just like exercise, it helps you burn calories and lower your cholesterol level, resulting in a boost to your metabolism. It keeps the cardiovascular system healthy. – Kissing helps your heart by pumping more blood. It also helps lower your blood pressure. It acts as a pain reliever. – Whether it is a headache or a toothache, kissing helps relieve the pain due to the presence of an anesthetic in our saliva. Furthermore, kissing produces endorphins which are more powerful than morphine. It can extend life expectancy. – Don’t leave home without a kiss. According to statistics, a goodbye kiss before going out of the house can increase your lifespan by five years. It fights off infection. – Note that during kissing, salivating produces natural antibiotics which fight off infections. Medical studies have shown that people engaged in frequent kissing will have less exposure to stomach, bladder and blood infections. It helps to smooth our skin. – Kissing helps exercise our facial muscles by keeping the facial skin tight and smooth, thereby preventing sagging cheeks and wrinkles.

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FIVE WAYS TO STOP FIGHTING ABOUT SEX

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Sex is a very crucial aspect of marriage that cannot be over emphasized. Even though sex is not all that matters in marriage, it actually matters greatly. Research shows that about 75-85% of marital issue is sex related! that is why you will see a woman whose the husband can buy her the world still cheating on him. It’s a pity it’s a topic we find difficult to discuss in our society. Most time couples fight about sex because of lack of understanding of the difference between men and women when it comes to sex. Men measure level of intimacy by physical actions like sex but it’s much more deeper than that for women, stuffs like spending time with her, listening to her, hugging her from the back and fulfilling her emotional needs are all what intimacy means to a woman. The hormonal differences between a man and a woman is another reason why men desired sex more than women. Testerone, one of the hormone responsible for sex drive is 20-40 percent higher in men than women, though not always the case but is common and normal for men to desire sex more than women. 1. COMMUNICATE : Fighting is different from communicating, you need to talk about it calmly and rationally, consider the make ego when you are trying to talk about this. Wether one of you is not getting what you want, or you have different sex drive or whatever the reason is open discussion and honesty is the solution to avoid fight. No mater how difficult it is u have to talk about it. 2.COMPROMISE: It’s difficult for the 2 of u to be at the same page all the time,maybe one prefer sex in d day time, for example like the truck driver who called d other day, or one like it done with the light on, or one hate to be touched while sleeping, or differences in styles or frequencies, men can compromise by helping the wife with some household chores wen u know u r planning to have sex later in the night and women can compromise by doing it once in a while wen not in d mood. 3. FIX WHAT IS NOT WORKING: you don’t like the way he jump into action before foreplay, you don’t enjoy it at all, there’s something she’s not doing at all or rightly, you don’t like the smell…… Instead of getting into argument over same issue every time you wanna make love, try and fix the problem. 4. BE VULNERABLE: Being vulnerable doesn’t mean doing what you don’t want to do, it just means letting down your guards and putting your all in the act to get the best from it. Don’t raise my leg, your hair is touching me, i don’t want to moan so people wont hear, don’t squeeze my bum etc… Like i said there should be mutual understanding and SEXUAL BOUNDARIES should be respected, but being vulnerable helps you to get lost in the act and enjoy it to the fullest. 5. DON’T BE SELFISH: When you get to a point where lovemaking is about your partner then you two are in for a good ride, this is a point where the satisfaction of your partner becomes your topmost priority. If you two can meet at this point, most of the arguments and lack of satisfaction issues will be avoided. Has sex taken the backstage in your marriage or has your bedroom turned to a war-room? contact THE FIXER HERE, she will help you resolve all your sexual conflicts.

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THE ORDER OF LOVEMAKING

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A lot of couples are in a sexually frustrating marriage because they put the wrong thing first. There are orders in which things must be done when it comes to the act of love making. Follow these five orders of lovemaking and find out why your sex life is becoming frustrating. Attraction: A lot of people will never be able to enjoy the act of love making if they are not attracted to their partner. For some, this where the act begins. Men: its is no doubt that men are moved by what they see, a man can be attracted to a low class empty brain lady, with poor hygiene just because of her well rounded boobs or protruding back sides. For men, the appeal mostly comes from conceiving the thought of how it will feel like touching those organs. majority of men are easily carried away by the female physical appearance and that is why its more complicated to be a man in a world full of half naked ladies in lycra tights. Blame it on the hormones, he’s not a loose Jack, he’s just being a man. This is why it takes discipline, total commitment, fear of God and genuine love for a man to stay loyal to his woman. Now, imagine a man who is lucky to have a physically attractive wife with all the juicy organs in the right places, she’s intelligent and smart, that means he could also be attracted to her brain and at the same time he’s head over heels in love with her. To top it all she’s clean in an out, smells good and understands what to wear to turn him on. Love making comes easily for that kind of man, and giving her a head becomes an easy task. Women: Attractions counts for women a lot, and most time its more about emotional connection rather than physical attractions, a clean looking man is just an icing on the cake. That is why trying to arouse a woman who is not emotionally connected to a man is always a daunting task. About 75% of women will not just look at a man and start getting wet just because he has six packs, attraction for a woman is more complicated than that, unresolved issues between the two must be resolved before a woman can get down without reservations and give her all. Desire: The desire to make love could be triggered by so many reasons, for men is majorly about attraction but for women its more complicated. unresolved issues, physical distractions like a cracking bed, children, or roughly shaven beard will all affect how deep her desire will be. Domestic and financial issues also affects a man sexual desire a whole lot, but most time he can see sex as a mean of cooling off when in such situations but for a woman at such time sex comes last. this is why some women will like to discuss money during the act in order to clear their mind so they can concentrate, even though the unwise or mischievous women negotiates before making love just to use it a s a weapon. She could also be overwhelmed with chores and activities, especially when the husband shows no sign of empathy or appreciation. Insecurity about body or organs can result to low self esteem which could also lead to lack of desire both in men an women. Arousal: There are lots that could be done during the act of love making to get your partner aroused. Mere looking at a woman naked body can give a man an erection like i said before, but for a woman especially when circumcised, you might have to go all the way. Now, this is where I’m actually going, a sexually frustrated marriage is mostly that of couples who ignored point one and two and jump to point three. How do you arouse a woman who is not attracted to you at the same time has no desire for sex. touching, necking, pecking, licking or any act of fore play will be a turn off for a woman who has lost her desire for sex. This is where most men are frustrated, ‘ I touched her and do everything to get her aroused, and still she won’t bulge” she will not, because she has lost the desire. You both need to concentrate on attraction and desire before talking about arousal. Orgasm: Even though a man can ejaculate without attraction, desire and arousal, its going to be a boring exercise and a frustrating one for him. A great sex is one in which a man is able to connect with his wife mind, soul and body, one in which the woman participates, vulnerable and gives her all without reservations, that is what a great sex is for a man, its beyond just ejaculating, its intense, deep, exhausting and satisfying love making. A man whose wife keeps lying like a log of wood or cold ice might start loosing his desire gradually as well. In this case for a woman, this is not just about not having great sex, its about no sex at all. Without attraction and desire forget orgasm for a woman. Sex becomes extra work and orgasm becomes achievable for a woman who has no desire for sex. Reaffirmation: This is the period of relaxing after a great love making exercise, for a man, sleep is the best form of reaffirmation, if she sleeps off immediately then shes exhausted and it automatically means she enjoys it, even though this could be true, the opposite is the case for a woman. She wants a man who will reassure her of how great she was in bed, rub his hands on her hair and kiss her forehead before snoring.

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FACTS ABOUT ORGASM AND FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION

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Circumcision is a very sensitive topic because a lot of women lives has been turned upside down because of the negative consequences of being circumcised. A lot of debates have been going on and articles have been written over the years on the subject of circumcision, this article will highlight major facts that could clear the airs on some of the myths, misconceptions and certain facts about circumcision. As much as I’m going to talk briefly about male circumcision here, the essence of this topic is not majorly about circumcision but to resolve issues and answer the numerous questions I’ve been getting about the impact of circumcision on the female folks, or better put, female genital mutilation FGM. Most marriages are in shambles because of this and there is need to talk about this crucial aspect of human life. Male circumcision is the removal of the foreskin from the human penis. Most parents circumcise their male child based on cultural, religion or medical issues. some religion totally frown against not performing circumcisions on a male child so also are some cultures. Even though some experts say that circumcision could reduce sexual sensation in men, but, studies show that there is no significant change in sensation in adult men who undergo circumcision. According to Dr. Alex Shteynshlyuger, director of urology at New York Urology Specialists. A 2016 study confirmed this finding that men who were circumcised experienced the same level of sexual pleasure as men who were not. Medical Doctors also believed male circumcision cut down on the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and urinary tract infections (UTIs), which, if left untreated, can lead to kidney infections. That is by the way, now to female circumcision which for the benefit of this topic, i will refer to as female genital mutilation. Female genital mutilation (FGM), also known as female genital cutting and female circumcision, is the ritual cutting or removal of some or all of the external female genitalia. The practice is found in Africa, Asia and the Middle East, and within communities from countries in which FGM is common. According to world health organization: – Female genital mutilation (FGM) includes procedures that intentionally alter or cause injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons. The procedure has no health benefits for girls and women. – Procedures can cause severe bleeding and problems urinating, and later cysts, infections, as well as complications in childbirth and increased risk of newborn deaths. – More than 200 million girls and women alive today have been cut in 30 countries in Africa, the Middle East and Asia where FGM is concentrated. – FGM is mostly carried out on young girls between infancy and age 15. – FGM is a violation of the human rights of girls and women. – There are lot of medical risks associated with FGM according to world health organizations There are four major type of FGM: Type 1: Often referred to as clitoridectomy, this is the partial or total removal of the clitoris (a small, sensitive and erectile part of the female genitals), and in very rare cases, only the prepuce (the fold of skin surrounding the clitoris). Type 2: Often referred to as excision, this is the partial or total removal of the clitoris and the labia minora (the inner folds of the vulva), with or without excision of the labia majora (the outer folds of skin of the vulva ). Type 3: Often referred to as infibulation, this is the narrowing of the vaginal opening through the creation of a covering seal. The seal is formed by cutting and repositioning the labia minora, or labia majora, sometimes through stitching, with or without removal of the clitoris (clitoridectomy). Type 4: This includes all other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes, e.g. pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterizing the genital area. FGM & ORGASM I stumbled on a campaign on twitter recently where a group of young men came together to campaign against marrying a women whose genitals has been mutilated. They believe this will discourage parents from continuing with the barbaric act, as women who are circumcised mostly find it difficult to get sexually aroused and this is causing a lot of friction with their men. The question is, how do you blame a woman for a circumstance she has no control over, it is bad enough that she’s suffering from self esteem issue and struggles with sexual arousal. This is to tell you the impact FGM has on sexual relationships. FGM is wrong, its barbaric and no one should be made to pass through a lifetime of trauma caused by this negative act. But if you have already be circumcised, and the deed has been done, what are the basic facts you need to know so you can live your life and still enjoying sexual act to the fullest? The vagina of a circumcised woman is usually bald, less fleshy, no or little clot and sometimes no labia. Women who are circumcised usually have low self esteem looking at other ladies with protruding and more fleshy vagina. Women who are circumcised often believe that they can never enjoy sex and therefore resigned to fate of not making efforts. Even though the clitoris( made up of about 8,000 nerve endings) is removed or party removed, as long as the base is still there, there is still possibility of sensitivity. Partners of circumcised women needs to be patient with them, take their time, make extra efforts and master their skills for them to be able to enjoy sex. When it comes to the art of lovemaking, and achieving orgasm, there’s need to put effort as a woman. Even though some men believed that uncircumcised women are sweeter in bed because they are more fleshy, research shows that circumcision doesn’t necessarily determine how sweet a woman will be in bed. Even though It takes longer period for a circumcised woman to get sexually aroused or satisfied,

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SEXUAL TURN OFF FOR MEN

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INTRODUCTION It is obvious from previous episodes of my show that a lot of couples are battling with sexual issues in their marriages. Usually, the general belief is that, the men are the one that is always enjoying sex, why the women are the ones at the loosing end, but my experience on this show these few days has proved otherwise. Even though its a common saying that men love sex and and most time all they need is a place to have sex and not a reason, men also want quality love making, when you are married and want to keep your man or at least make him happy them you must spice up your game. Men could have sex even when they don’t love the woman, her body or the scenario, but they get attached when they are in love, find all these plus the woman that knows how to do them right in bed. The probability that a sexually unsatisfied man will masturbate or cheat is very high, lack of sexual satisfaction is the major reason why men cheats. Theres something in every man that wants his woman to be a lady on the street and a freak in the bedroom, give him the pleasure of making that a reality. Some men are never satisfied with what God has given them, contentment is a virtue, someone will always be more prettier, slimmer etc, stop imagining things on your head. If you find something you like, tell your woman to develop it and if there’s something u don’t like, tell her to change with love. From my experience as a sex therapist, here are the basic things that turned men off sexually Dead women in bed Women who leaves nothing to the imagination Women who commands too much Women who makes little or no effort to be sexy outside the bedroom Bad toucher Women who never initiate sex Women who talk about former lovers Bad kisser Women with poor Hygiene Faking it: men who knows their women well can tell when they are faking it Women who talk too nasty Women who constantly put themselves and their body down Women who are not open to new things or creativity Women who talk too much in bed: discussing bills, kids etc during the process of lovemaking. Women who wear ugly underwear Unresolved family issues Women who never shows signs of interest or satisfaction during lovemaking Financial crisis/ office/ business crisis Women who makes nasty comments about his sexuality No blow job women: Research shows that Men that receive bad, or no blow jobs at all, cheat more often and are less satisfied with their relationship than guys that get head regularly. Has sex taken the backstage in your marriage ad you need help to bring back the spark in your bedroom, talk to Dr. Tolu, the number one sex therapist in Nigeria: 08035037992 or CLICK HERE

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DIFFERENT CATEGORIES OF WIVES

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Whatever i write here is not to judge or disrespect anyone as no one is perfect, In fact, we might notice that one way or the other, everyone of us has one or more of the traits described on some of the categories listed here. Look at this topic from the lighter side of life and let roll. The truth is that people are different, and understanding our personalities and that of others will help us to relate better as human, in fact, there are some temperaments that could make good couples as well as some that if care is not taken, will end up in divorce. Above all, understanding your temperament/personality will help you to make progressive adjustment, as no temperament is better than the other, you only need to reinforce your positive traits and weaken the negative ones. The whole essence of this topic is for you to consider this a wake up call, and work on some areas of your life that needs a little bit of adjustment. 1. Corporate wife: Her jobs come first before her family, she can travel from the office for days without previous plan. The house help is the wife of the house by action, she’s just a wife by tittle. She attends dinners without her husband and do lunch in all the choice restaurants in town. She will do anything to protect her job even if it means sleeping with clients or bosses. She’s intimidating and can show little or no respect for her husband 2. Material wife: She can never plan the future with her husband, she will nag and frustrate the husband till she get whatever she wants. She will go for august meeting at the expense of the children school fees. She always want to buy every latest attire without considering the family income, she has spent the money for bungalow, duplexes, land and better things on gold and clothes. She’s always looking out for the latest clothe in town, always in competition and never satisfied. She doesn’t care where the money is coming from so far she’s seen the money. You can liken this kind of woman to the social media slay queens. 3. Chewing-gum wife: The husband to this one is married to her and her parent, she’s mummy’s girl, she can’t differentiate between been a married woman and a single lady, tied to her mother’s wrapper and allows the mother to rule her home. She can never make any decision in her family without consulting her mother. She is a girl and not a woman, she doesn’t have any clue about how to pet her husband, she still move around with her single friends and spend the better part of her days with her sisters. 4.Corrosive wife: Always fighting and very abusive, everyone in their environment knows her, always shouting and cursing the husband not minding if the neighbors are listening or not, very shameless and discourteous. She can disgrace the husband publicly. She must retaliate whatever the husband does to her, The husband is always afraid to come home and the only thing the husband does at home is sleep and eat. 5. Single wife: This one is single but married. Can never detached from her single friends who have no responsibility towards any man. She walks in group and want to dress like her friends who are single and carefree. She gist away the time and stroll around with her friends. 6. Television wife: She’s very idle and has no value. She can’t make any useful contribution to a sensible discussion, all she does is make up for hours and sit in front of TV from morning till night. Sometimes dirty and gossips round the street, that is the type that is called ‘anfani adugbo’ in Yoruba, brings insults to her husband as a result of numerous quarrel resulting from gossips, her gossip is not only about others, she also gossip and exposes her family secrets, everybody in her area knows her, she always have excuses for why she’s not working, if it’s not because of baby, it’s because she’s pregnant, surprisingly she gossips early in the morning, even on Mondays. 7. Traditional wife: A traditional wife must be a full house wife, baby factory, shes not skillful in bed, sex must always be in the missionary style, very boring and not ready to learn, the husband must always do the work during lovemaking, she doesn’t understand the meaning of fore-play and doesn’t know how to turn a man on. She doesn’t even know what it means to reach orgasm, doesn’t understand what it means to call the husband a pet name. Very crude and unromantic , always tying wrapper, and will not exploit new fashion style except the one she’s used to even if the husband ask her to.(need a sex therapist, reach out to one here) 8. Intercontinental wife: this one is a cheat, she’s never sexually satisfied, she will never loose contact with her ex even if he’s trying to sleep with her. If her husband cheats on her she will retaliate by cheating back. she still look forward to advances from men, she wear clothes that exposes her body part even when the husband is against it. 9. The Bossy wife: this one is never submissive, she’s always right, she knows when and how everything need to be done and is relatively certain that her reason for living is to tell her husband who she believes knows next to nothing. She sometimes even bosses him in the presence of others, making him feel belittled, she’s very pushy and disrespectful 10. The proficient wife : A proficient wife is the pride of her husband, loving and dedicated, she takes good care of the husband and the kids as if that’s what she was born to do. She makes her grievances known in a respectful manner and understand how to win her husband to her side, never abusive and will

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SEXUAL TURN-OFF FOR WOMEN

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It is obvious from previous episodes of this show that so many couples are battling with sexual issues in their marriages. Usually, the general belief is that, the men are the one that is always enjoying sex, why the women are the ones at the loosing end, but my experience on this show these few days has proved otherwise. Someone even called in that he usually force his wife whenever they want to make love, that is a horrible situation and in fact could be a crime under the law. The point is; maybe, if she’s enjoying it, she will look forward to it or maybe they are things you are not just doing rightly, tonight i will be talking about possible things that can make a woman not show interest in sex. Being in a hurry Going in without a condom/ family planning, when shes trying to avoid having another baby. Acting like an emperor: Using commanding tone as if its all about you Being too rough : rough sex can be fun when both parties are okay with it Pushing her head down below, stylishly seek her consent if you want a blow job Being a poor kisser Bad hygiene: smell, shaving, Being too boring: e.g being too afraid to try new things or not knowing what to do Being selfish: don’t drag her to sexual positions that works for only you Smell of cigarette or alcohol Talking too much, talking is a turn on, but don’t because of that make it too much. Mishandling women breast Comparing her to your ex Comparing yourself/your woman with porn actors No love sex . If she doesn’t feel connected to you, she can get turned off so easily e.g expecting a prostitute to feel like your wife is asking for the impossible Not knowing how to make her feel like a woman. Don’t switch on your interest on your wife when you are sexually aroused , compliment, fondled,touch, show affection even when you are not planning to have sex Lack of concern when she has too much to do before coming to bed. I usually say this alot of time, if you are looking forward to a romantic night, be nice in the evening. Getting up/ sleeping off and snoring immediately you are done Unresolved family issues. No cunninlingus especially for women who wants it, or doing it the wrong way. It might interest you to know that about 80% of women will not reach orgasm through mere penile penetration. So, how come you want blow jib and wont give a head?

SEXUAL TURN-OFF FOR WOMEN Read More »

THE PROS AND CONS OF SHOWER SEX

LOSS OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION IN MARRIAGE

HOW TO KNOW IF HE/SHE CARES ABOUT YOU

BENEFITS OF KISSING

FIVE WAYS TO STOP FIGHTING ABOUT SEX

THE ORDER OF LOVEMAKING

FACTS ABOUT ORGASM AND FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION

SEXUAL TURN OFF FOR MEN

DIFFERENT CATEGORIES OF WIVES

SEXUAL TURN-OFF FOR WOMEN

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