Intimate relationships are part of human existence, it has to be taken seriously, it could make or mar you, and of course, sex is a very integral part of relationships, because as humans we are all sexual beings. We should understand that it takes two to make love, when couples come to the lovemaking table with the mindset that they want to satisfy each other rather than satisfy themselves, or they want to give rather than receive, a lot of energy generates, It takes two to make love, this is what most people fail to understand, most people are very selfish when it comes to lovemaking, they only care about satisfying themselves. Having a good sex life with your partner means you would need to stop personalizing sex. The following are steps that would aid a better sex life: Avoid body shaming yourself or your partner: This is common among women suffering from Postpartum depression; they look at their body, seeing all the extra skin gained as a result of childbirth, they start to think they are not as beautiful as they use to be, this is one of the triggers of depression for women during the postnatal stage, sex is definitely going to die if you don’t go in with all boldness, confidence and high self-esteem. You should understand that sex is not so much about physique, the effectiveness of your skills rates higher than your body structure or size of genitals. You must understand that you are not the most beautiful or complete human to ever exist, this is why you must always do daily self-appreciation; appreciate your looks, your body, etc., and understand that anyone would be lucky to have you. Just as Men shouldn’t body shame their partners, women should also understand that this is extra sensitive for men, The male sexuality is attached to his ego, The more you belittle your man’s sexual performance, the more he loses his self-esteem and at the same time his sexual groove. Be open about your sexual needs: Couples should learn to be open, help your partner understand your sexual likes and dislikes, stylishly let them know when they touch you in wrong places, affirm with your expressions when they are getting it right, if you have hidden desire, fantasies, or kinks your partner is the best person to share these desires with, silence is a big hindrance to sexual satisfaction, you should help you partner understand your body. Take the children off your mind for a moment: You have to let the kids be, don’t worry about the kids for once, you must understand that there was once a wife/husband before the kids came into existence, if you want to have a better sex life, there is no need to have your child sleeping on your bed, it would definitely have an impact on your sex life, don’t get used to the child wanting to sleep beside you. Your sex life doesn’t need to drop because you start having kids, you should be able to balance the entire situation. Practice touching: Touching is very powerful and couples should learn to engage in this, touching, in this case, could be sexual or non-sexual, it creates an amazing rapport between couples and make them more spontaneous towards each other, it removes the boundaries between couples and above all it builds intimacy, you should understand lovemaking doesn’t start at the point of making love, it starts from how you relate with each other, you should get use to the public display of affection, this kind of gestures are highly linked with the act of lovemaking, it creates an amazing atmosphere and makes things easy when you are ready to engage in intercourse, In most cases, if you don’t establish touching in your relationship, things become really weird when it’s time for sex. Connect emotionally: According to research married couples have more fulfilling sex life than their single counterpart, this is not far from the fact that they are more connected emotionally when you are emotionally connected to someone it spices up lovemaking, it takes intercourse to another level, lovemaking is different when you love someone, it becomes more intense and fulfilling. Prepare your partners mind: you need to get used to preparing your mind and your partner’s mind in a sexy way; this could be done through so many means, for example, sending your partner nudes, sexy mails, text messages, and random chats, this, in turn, would set in the mood for explosive sensational lovemaking. Use lubricants: This should be made handy if you want to be sexually active, this would be the best solution to vagina dryness, naturally, every woman is able to secrete vagina juice/lubricant during sex, vagina dryness could be as a result of so many factors, varies from the rounds of sex, psychological factor, medical issues and the age of the woman. Be creative: You have to be spontaneous, you need to reinvent things, you don’t have to keep making love on the bed, or doing the same routines all the time when it comes to sexual positions, there’s a need to be creative when it comes to lovemaking, try new things, have shower sex, e.t.c. Kiss as much as possible: So many couples have a problem kissing, you should understand that scientifically there are hormones that are released to your system during kissing, kissing generates a high level vulnerability, it puts you in a level where you just want to let go of your guards, kissing is extremely intimate and it is important for better sex life. Schedule sex, if you have to: If sex is too complicated in your relationship, complications which arise from a busy work schedule, no one wants to make the first move, shyness e.t.c, there is nothing wrong with scheduled sex if you fall under the above categories, you have to sit down with your partner and discuss when sex could be appropriate for both parties, this schedule would continue
