THE ORDER OF LOVEMAKING
A lot of couples are in a sexually frustrating marriage because they put the wrong thing first. There are orders in which things must be done when it comes to the act of love making. Follow these five orders of lovemaking and find out why your sex life is becoming frustrating.
Attraction: A lot of people will never be able to enjoy the act of love making if they are not attracted to their partner. For some, this where the act begins.
Men: its is no doubt that men are moved by what they see, a man can be attracted to a low class empty brain lady, with poor hygiene just because of her well rounded boobs or protruding back sides. For men, the appeal mostly comes from conceiving the thought of how it will feel like touching those organs. majority of men are easily carried away by the female physical appearance and that is why its more complicated to be a man in a world full of half naked ladies in lycra tights. Blame it on the hormones, he’s not a loose Jack, he’s just being a man. This is why it takes discipline, total commitment, fear of God and genuine love for a man to stay loyal to his woman. Now, imagine a man who is lucky to have a physically attractive wife with all the juicy organs in the right places, she’s intelligent and smart, that means he could also be attracted to her brain and at the same time he’s head over heels in love with her. To top it all she’s clean in an out, smells good and understands what to wear to turn him on. Love making comes easily for that kind of man, and giving her a head becomes an easy task.
Women: Attractions counts for women a lot, and most time its more about emotional connection rather than physical attractions, a clean looking man is just an icing on the cake. That is why trying to arouse a woman who is not emotionally connected to a man is always a daunting task. About 75% of women will not just look at a man and start getting wet just because he has six packs, attraction for a woman is more complicated than that, unresolved issues between the two must be resolved before a woman can get down without reservations and give her all.
Desire: The desire to make love could be triggered by so many reasons, for men is majorly about attraction but for women its more complicated. unresolved issues, physical distractions like a cracking bed, children, or roughly shaven beard will all affect how deep her desire will be. Domestic and financial issues also affects a man sexual desire a whole lot, but most time he can see sex as a mean of cooling off when in such situations but for a woman at such time sex comes last. this is why some women will like to discuss money during the act in order to clear their mind so they can concentrate, even though the unwise or mischievous women negotiates before making love just to use it a s a weapon. She could also be overwhelmed with chores and activities, especially when the husband shows no sign of empathy or appreciation. Insecurity about body or organs can result to low self esteem which could also lead to lack of desire both in men an women.
Arousal: There are lots that could be done during the act of love making to get your partner aroused. Mere looking at a woman naked body can give a man an erection like i said before, but for a woman especially when circumcised, you might have to go all the way. Now, this is where I’m actually going, a sexually frustrated marriage is mostly that of couples who ignored point one and two and jump to point three. How do you arouse a woman who is not attracted to you at the same time has no desire for sex. touching, necking, pecking, licking or any act of fore play will be a turn off for a woman who has lost her desire for sex. This is where most men are frustrated, ‘ I touched her and do everything to get her aroused, and still she won’t bulge” she will not, because she has lost the desire. You both need to concentrate on attraction and desire before talking about arousal.
Orgasm: Even though a man can ejaculate without attraction, desire and arousal, its going to be a boring exercise and a frustrating one for him. A great sex is one in which a man is able to connect with his wife mind, soul and body, one in which the woman participates, vulnerable and gives her all without reservations, that is what a great sex is for a man, its beyond just ejaculating, its intense, deep, exhausting and satisfying love making. A man whose wife keeps lying like a log of wood or cold ice might start loosing his desire gradually as well. In this case for a woman, this is not just about not having great sex, its about no sex at all. Without attraction and desire forget orgasm for a woman. Sex becomes extra work and orgasm becomes achievable for a woman who has no desire for sex.
Reaffirmation: This is the period of relaxing after a great love making exercise, for a man, sleep is the best form of reaffirmation, if she sleeps off immediately then shes exhausted and it automatically means she enjoys it, even though this could be true, the opposite is the case for a woman. She wants a man who will reassure her of how great she was in bed, rub his hands on her hair and kiss her forehead before snoring.
