HOW TO HAVE YOUR FIRST PENETRATIVE SEX

                                          POINT TO NOTE IN HAVING THE FIRST PENETRATIVE SEX

• Forget all You Have Been Told About Sex and Concentrate: In this digital age and exposure to digital content one might come across a lot of information about how to have sex, so much content is out there about sex and you might get confused about it because you are trying to figure out how to put all those multiple information you have seen, heard or read about sex. The right thing to do is to just focus on yourself and your partner, look at your partner, and have it in your head it’s time to explore and not try to put into practice all you have seen or heard about sex. You need to get to know each other first and basically what your partner likes and enjoys. What might have worked for Mr/Mrs. A might not work for Mr/Mrs. B, feel free to express yourself, ask questions, and communicate with your partner.

• Avoid Performance Anxiety: This is the number one killer of erection, It’s mostly psychological and not because you’re having any medical challenges in a lot of cases. Not having confidence, especially for men kills erection, you need to be bold and not worry too much about how you are going to do it, this can be linked to the first point above, trying to do it like a character in a movie you watched or book you read could destroy things for you, just be yourself. It’s your first, forget about all the questions that might be popping in your head and rather enjoy yourself.

• Be Comfortable in Your Skin: Erection is very egoistic, the moment you start feeling incapable, you can also forget about your erection. And for the ladies, the moment you start having low self-esteem about your body or look, you tend to bring your partner’s attention to all of these things you are worried about. In most cases, the men don’t even notice all of these features you are been worried about when having sex. Having high self-esteem is very sexy to both genders, be confident in your skin and body, you are beautiful just the way you are. For men, stop bothering about the size of your penis or one area you think you aren’t good enough or the other; carry yourself with confidence and grace. As a matter of fact, the size of your penis does not matter like your level of self-confidence and skills.

• Breath: Relax! Even if you have to practice breathing exercises, do it. Anxiety might cause clamped vagina or leady to poor erection or premature ejaculation. Sex shouldn’t be scary because it’s supposed to be pleasurable. Relax, be comfortable, and let everything flow naturally. Dont try too hard just take it easy and slowly.

• Don’t be Shy: Do not be shy towards your partner. Be in charge; take charge even if you might be confused about what to do, take charge in the bedroom. No need to be pretending to be a good girl/boy at this point, in fact, good girls do not work for a man, ‘s brain when it comes to sex. Be free and expressive, tell your partner how they make you feel or what you enjoy while having sex.Be comfortable looking at each others genitals.

• Be Expressive: Express yourself, Tell your partner what you want, and be expressive. Like I said earlier, don’t hide your skills in the name of not giving a wrong impression or so your partner doesn’t get a negative notion of you (a bad girl), on the contrary men love their women being bad girls in bed. When having sex, the moment you notice a positioning or an act that is very pleasurable to you, communicate this with your partner, so he/she is aware of what gives you pleasure. The moment you keep quiet or mute about it, you might not be able to remember what actually made you feel that good. As a man, never feel bad or downcast when your partner communicates with you on getting better or trying to be more skillful as this causes performance anxiety, rather take it open-minded and work on ways to get better and please your partner.

• Massage: Get a sensual massage to break those barriers. A sensual massage is a massage that is done on all parts of the body including the genitals. It can be done with essential and natural oils.It makes you feel good, sexy, and smell nice. Both partners can take turns in massaging each other to put themselves in the right mood.

• Avoid Trying to Be Good: When it comes to sex, good girl behavior doesn’t work for a man’s brain.Don’t try to pretend to be good, relax and let loose as to get down really good, and the same thing applies to men, don’t be shy when approaching a lady for sex and try other romantic ways of approaching and dust off the conservative African way of trying to approach a lady for sex only when she’s lying in bed.
• Prepare Your Body:  Smell good, get beautiful lingerie, and get nice perfumes to make you smell sexy. Shave, clean, and maintain healthy genitals. You can prepare your environment as well, run the bath, play cool music, and use scented candles as this also helps to ease the anxiety in your mind and put you in the mood.

• Explore Before Hand: A lot of people might tend to find this difficult to do, you can touch certain parts of your body to know how they make you feel and what works for you. Engage in foreplay as it helps; we have certain organs in the woman’s body just as the clitoris that are meant to be pleasurable. According to a certain research, it take a whooping 45 minutes to prepare a woman for penetration, you can as well begin the process before joining your partners. Foreplay is very important before penetration, sex is not just about the genitals. 

• Get Comfortable with Body Fluid: Saliva, Pre-cum, Sweat, and sperm are body fluids you should get comfortable with. For sex to be great it has to be “dirty”, bodily fluid could be a sign of the fact that you are getting it right and there’s no need making a big deal out of it.

• Do a lot of foreplay: Like i said earlier, take it slowly, touch the breast, the niples, kiss the neck, the body, infact kiss from head to toe, make use of your fingers, hands and mouth. Practically worship the body, do a lot of pecking necking, touch, holding, rubbing, eating, fingering etc Just make sure you do not dive the vagina, take it slowly till the vagina is begging to be penetrated.

• Use Lubricant: At this point, getting it right on your own might be cumbersome especially if you are inexperienced, no need to force anything so you do not have a bad start with your sexual experience. Preferably a water based lubricant to help you when you are not able to help yourself wont be a bad idea.

There you have it. If you need more tips on understanding the act of lovemaking, get my book on ABC of lovemkaing HERE