How do I know if my spouse cares about me?
People tend to walk into my office asking questions like ‘Dr. Tolu how do I know if my partner loves me?’ or perhaps you are one that likes to keep your money away from your partner especially from men to women saying you will like to test her and be sure she doesn’t love you because of money. All these and many more do not guarantee someone’s love for you.
The first thing I tell people is that for you to even ask that question in the first place, it is a red flag; for you to be bothered, unsure or confused, you have already gotten your answer. The answer is “NO”.
If someone loves you, you would not need to ask and for women that mostly ask me, I tell them that for men that are in love it is even more intense because they find it hard to hide their feelings unlike women even though they are more emotional.
If someone loves you and you love someone, you will find peace; you won’t be worried or restless.
For instance, you are asked “Jane, what are you doing with kingsley” your answer will always move towards positivity if you love him and you know that he loves you unlike your answer coming off like “Errrrm…., I’m not so sure what I’m doing with him”.
When you love someone and vice versa, you will feel loved, cared for and at peace, he/she wants to know that you are fine, you will feel safe, whatever makes you unhappy becomes their problem also.
Finally, I am sure you know the signs, you are aware when somebody doesn’t love you, you know when this person treats you like garbage, you know when this person makes you feel worthless. I understand love sometimes can make you feel helpless but it never takes away the ability for you to be logical, for you to speak to yourself, for you to boldly say to yourself that you deserve better. Nobody deserves to be treated lesser than a human. Putting love aside, even outside a relationship, if you allow yourself to be treated lesser, it says a lot about your Self Esteem, it says a lot about your self worth also, about you feeling like you don’t deserve better.
No one is going to see you better than you see yourself.
So you will ask me “Dr. Tolu how do I know if this person loves me?” and this is what I’ll tell you, a lot of times you know when some one cares about, you will see the signs. The only question you need to ask yourself is ‘Who am I and what do I deserve?”.